The Three-Minute Game

The Three-Minute Game directs a couple to explore the intimacy of touch. Originally designed by Harry Faddis, it was purportedly inspired by a line from Rumi, “You must ask for what you really want; don’t go back to sleep.” Faddis’ game involved two people asking each other, “What would you like me to do to you for three minutes?” and, “What would you like to do to me for three minutes?”

Betty Martin, a multi-modal body worker, modified the questions to “How would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” and, “How would you like to touch me for three minutes?” Having been asked, the partner states what they would like. And, in response, the other defines what they will give or allow - consent.

The three-minute game assists us to begin our contact with each other with clear intent. We make conscious and verbal the plan of our often unspoken physical interactions. Having defined the boundaries, the structure creates a freedom to let go into an embodied experience of touch and touching.

I invite you to watch Betty Martin’s video on how to play the Three-Minute Game. Watch the whole video to get a better idea of the game in action. It demonstrates clothed pairs exchanging non-sexual touch, though the game can apply to sexual touch as well. 

Let me know in the comments about your experience of the Three-Minute Game.