Carefully, but without a hint of shame, she tells me that she derives pleasure from hurting her sexual partners. To me, it makes sense - the rape victim who had power taken from her by male aggressors - now takes control. She hurts back. Yet, this is a person whom I suspect has a history of inflicting final harm to others; she’s the enforcer. How safe are her sexual partners?
Read MorePost menopausal pain, irritation and other issues involving the vagina, vulva, urethra and bladder will likely worsen if not treated. One safe and effective treatment is local, vaginal estrogen.
Read More“Part of my own awakening has been realizing that a lot of women whom I am close to, whom I love, are missing out on something. Why is that? Why haven’t we done a better job of putting women’s pleasure front and center? Why is the focus on our own individual pleasure still missing?”
Read MoreA Yes/No/Maybe Checklist that caters to people who want to create conversation and fresh exploration in their sexual relationships.
Read MoreA simple exercise that helps two people explore the intimacy of touch
Read More“No one even bothered to ask if I was sexually active.” What should we expect from our medical providers regarding sexual healthcare? How can we best get our sexual health issues addressed?
Read More“The good news is that if you want to change your experience and your feelings, you can address your thoughts. Specifically, you can influence your sexual desire by changing your thoughts."
Read MoreThis remarkable woman has moved past childhood sexual abuse, rape, an abusive marriage, and heroin addiction to find love, comfort and even satisfying sex.
Read MoreYes, body image affects our sex life. A poor body image negatively impacts both sexual arousal and sexual pleasure by causing distracting thoughts.
Read More“Gender dysphoria is like a horror movie. Like this thing is attached to you, and you can’t get rid of it. It feels like it’s destroying your life, and you have to do something about it.”
Read MoreLesbians are more likely to orgasm during partnered sex than heterosexual women. A lot more likely. What can cis, heterosexual women learn from their lesbian sisters?
Read MoreMy dear friend and host turns to me and says, “How do you feel about them sleeping together?”
Read More“It made me see the intensity of life, that if they could choose to do that, I could choose to be whatever I wanted to be.”
Read More“Seek pleasure, create pleasure, self-stimulate to ensure pleasure? How many of us grew up hearing that?!” This post is designed to help you examine a bit of your own sexual life story.
Read MoreMenopause challenged not just her enjoyment of sex but her sense of self. “I thought I’d be someone who’d have great sex into my 80’s.”
Read MoreOne evening the conversation veered onto sex. My friend said, “Don’t you just miss that passionate, want-to-rip-off-your-clothes desire?”
Read MoreIncreasingly, sexual pleasure is placed alongside sexual sovereignty and sexual health as a right that must be addressed by education, health care delivery and social policy.
Read MoreWhen I ask her about masturbation and orgasm she responds, “That didn’t happen for me. There wasn’t anyone talking about that with me.” She can’t even recall if she had orgasms in her first marriage. “If I did, it was uneventful. I just really can’t remember,” she sighs. “I didn’t know that sex wasn’t just about the guy.”
Read MoreTen years ago, while working as a nurse practitioner providing sexual health care for teenagers, I wanted a handout or a webpage on masturbation to give to my patients. I was working at a school-based health center where I was pretty sure discussing masturbation techniques with teenaged girls would get me fired and run out of town.
Read MoreWhen I began asking my patients about sexual pleasure, pain and orgasm, I learned that less than half of my female-identified patients had had an orgasm, either through masturbation or with a partner. I learned that many girls thought touching themselves was offensive, and that masturbation was only for boys. I learned that many felt like they were the only ones who didn’t enjoy sex and presumed that something must be wrong with them.
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